BYE BYE EVERYONE!

IM MOVING!

I just decided with the nature of how busy everything always is, I just don't have time to narrate all the time. I really like tumblr, it's portable, has an app on my phone and it's just overall easier for me.

so from now on,
everyone can find me on there: tachycardiclove.tumblr.com
thank you, all 4 of you, for reading thus far.

"WHAT'S UP FAULTY VEINS?"

"Can I be of service to your failing vessels?"


"I'll show you deep, vein thrombosis."


Oh hi, sorry. I was spending my time looking up vascular jokes before you got here because I GOT THE VASCULAR SURGERY UNIT for my first clinical rotation! Oh my dear lord almighty! I am so pumped and excited and nervous and clammy and jittery and faint and jumpy and every other antsy and unnerving emotion you can think of! I cannot wait till next Monday.

I get to wear my stethoscope about my clavicle and prance on in, twisting my calcaneous and talus thisaway and thataway, park myself at the nurses' station and say something like "Hi, my name is Shifrah and I'm going to go check Mr. X's vital signs" or something.

And in that moment, in that very insignificant statement, my entire head will explode and I will probably poop my pants and void my bladder and my neurons will call me a moron, but I will be touching a real, live patient. And it will be beautiful.

But in reality, I just get to shadow a nurse for the first day, so I'll probably just die of excitement knowing I am almost, almost touching a real, live patient.

Have I mentioned that I am so excited? It's going to be thrilling. Even the fact that it's on days, and I will need to get up at 4AM in the morning to make it on time every day is not even harshing my mellow. My dear friend Emma is in the same clinical group as I am and we are carpooling! She promised to cook me breakfast every day as long as I got us both there in one piece. Thankfully, no sane soul will be up at the hour I plan to leave my house (except for nurses, ofcourse) and if I do hit someone, it'll probably be  a fellow nurse and she'll save my life.

We had a large clinical orientation yesterday for all of the second year students and it was held to set us up for success. We met with our instructors and I am really glad that mine is so nice and wonderful and motherly. I'm really glad I didn't end up with a tough cookie because I am too nervous to confidently do anything in a hospital yet and am ever so grateful that someone has made a career out of spoon-feeding people like me into the early stages of nursing.

I had my first official class today, and of course, I was late! I didn't plan on being late at all! I woke up, gathered all my books and left the house with enough time to spare but ended up searching for parking for over a half hour. And OF COURSE my prof made an example out me. Even though she said "Im not trying to make an example out of you.." . . .



Im just sitting around in a pool of very heavy textbooks, cuddling them so that they will be nice to me when I need to extract large amounts of information with minimal effort. Im also waiting for Colin to get out of his class. I am actually super jealous of all my friend's courses this year. Jill and Emma are in a genocide class together. Another girl I know is doing a pop culture class on goth culture, and the prof used to be a DJ in the industrial goth club business so he doesn't really like work anyways and pretty much wants to breeze all the students through and teach them a few things they didn't know. Kari, another lovely friend of mine who has yet to get an honorable mention in here, took one on pop culture in the 60's. She got to listen to the Temptations, Supremes, write a useless paper and get an A! Don't get me wrong, it's not like Im aching to learn about genocide or I think genocide is "cool", or that my life would benefit so much more after knowing things about goth culture (because, let's be honest, they are quite a misunderstood crowd)... but I got stuck with a horrible political writing course that I really didn't want to succeed in but somehow managed to woo the professor and became his favorite student. That wasn't all bad until he decided to have high expectations about my interest and thoughts in politics. Seriously.... I don't even know the difference in between the green party and NDP (Jack Layton, God rest your soul, Im not trashing your name, I swear, Im just kind of ignorant).

In any case, I convinced Colin to sign up for this elective taught by the best gen. ed. teacher I have ever encountered. It's 'Intro to Environmental Issues", and not like Colin has an interest in that - he litters! But Diana Fletcher is basically the shit. Head to toe, she is bomb dot com. In between talking about how much she dislikes her mother-in-law, how annoying her husband's Mensa membership is and her daughter's constant feedback on the bullshit that is student life, she manages to make gen. ed. not a huge pain in the butt and still gets you to pay attention and learn something. The only time I ever almost decided not to like her was when she put in a long clip with Carl Sagan talking and making weird actions with his hands. CANNOT STAND HIM.

That's pretty much all that happened today, it's been pretty good. The textbooks are getting irritated with the lack of affection.. so I'll be on with my day. xo.

My head hurts.

Today has not been the best of days. Everything just seems to be compounding and trying to ruin my attitude, but I decided that I wouldn't let that happen.

Even though it's overly used, my mantra for today is to

"KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON"

If I don't let this day ruin me, I should be alright to start afresh tomorrow. 

I had a lot of work to finish this week. I started off with New Student Orientation at MRU. One word: HILARIOUS! I remember how I was at the first week, freaking out over classes and what I had to do and how to do it, and whether I would do it wrong anyways... Oh, good times! It was so hilarious to see all the first years scrambling around with questions like mutant, english-speaking chickens. The best part was when the Dean of Health Studies was legit like "If you just started a relationship, then  you should probably end it". The whole room was really quiet and everyone couldn't tell if he was kidding.. Then he repeated himself, and a few students laughed. I looked at my orientation group and burst their bubble - "He's not kidding."

I wasn't all mean though. I rotated through 4 tables in total, and made sure to spend a good amount of time answering questions about the first year. The head of the orientation committee set us up with a lame "Fun Facts" activity. After I realized not student knew who Florence Nightingale was, I ditched the sheet and asked them if they had questions. I got everything from "Can I still have time to party?" to "Im freaking out about dosage calcs!"... Well, ...no, you probably shouldn't be here if you are hoping for time to party, and I don't even know much about dosage calcs, so I think you're good....

I spent the weekend working with BOOM!, my on-the-side-very-casual-but-still-awesome-and-kickass job promoting Irish Springs' new "Legendary Freshness Scent" on the U of C campus. We had to wear wonderful bathrobes that gave the illusion of being ...NAKED... while handing out samples of body wash and antiperspirant. 

6 hours in the blazing sun and 30 degree weather kind of gets to you when you're wearing a bathrobe, but the money is great and my bosses are great and the company is cool, so I more than compensated for having to do this. I got some pretty interesting reactions including an old man asking me if I had clothes on underneath (I said yes, and he asked me "why?"......... ) and a chauvinist tell me that I would probably give away more product if I was in an Irish Springs bikini instead of a bathrobe.. He got the classic Jill - two middle fingers up with no dignified verbal response.

On Friday night, I went out to West with a few people from this group because our supervisor was from Ontario and wanted to see a bit of the city life. I wish I had picked any other place in the entire world besides West. I would have even settled for the Alley over it. It was overpriced, pretentious, and worst of all, BORING. It was my first time out there and I was surprised that everyone I know has been raving about this club. Maybe it was a bad night, and maybe it was...slow or something. But the average age was 30, there were actually grandmas and grandpas out on the floor and the DJ was playing Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Theme Song and R-E-S-P-E-C-T among other....not dance-able music. It was like a high school reunion for people who graduated in the late 80's-early 90's. I was thoroughly unimpressed. IT'S A FRIDAY NIGHT, BRO. I WANT TO GROOVE.

To top the night off, the people I was with got pretty wasted and decided they wanted to go to Singapore Sam's...which is open till 4 in the morning and serves AMAZING chinese food. After a hefty meal, I finally got home at 4 in the morning.... only to be awoken by the sound of my shed being built at 7 AM. After tossing in my bed for another hour, i just decided to get up and go to work all over again. Did the same thing, had more pervy men ask me pervy questions, and after 6 minutes of getting ready, I ushered Colin to this UNICEF benefit concert for St. Andrew's Church. Along with Colin's band, there was an amazing 14 yr old boy and a 16 yr old girl who sang like angels and probably got a lot of people to donate lots of money... 

On a side note, you should probably donate too... because all donations given to UNICEF Canada before September 16th are matched dollar for dollar! SO GIVE!

and then we went and hung out at his place, and by hang out, I mean I just passed out because I physically could not remain conscious any longer after running on 3 hours of sleep - which by the way is where my shit day begins.

Because I fell asleep and was really tired, Colin just let me be. I woke up panicking at 3 in the morning because my blood sugar was dropping fast (I hadn't had the chance to eat anything all day besides drink a protein shake from Jugo). I shoved a bunch of cookies in my mouth and got Colin to drive me home. As I walked in the door, my dog started barking and woke my dad up. He came downstairs in this blinded rage and started screaming at me, not even making sense half the time, about how I choose to purposely disrespect my parents by coming home late all the time, and how because I haven't cleaned my room, I am trying to drive everyone insane and crazy and I am the worst type of child ever. He wouldn't even shut up for 5 minutes to listen to me tell him that it was an honest mistake and that I fell asleep. Then he moved into how I should clean my room because that's also a large sign of disrespect and I obviously don't care about my family. News flash, Dad: I WILL NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WHAT YOU  HAVE TO SAY IF IT DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. After literally being yelled at for an hour, I managed to get into bed at 430 - feeling like the worst kid for falling asleep by accident. He pretty much grounded me... even though I am 18. Im just too much of a pussy to go against him right now. 

Then, this morning I wake up to find out my car is STILL being a piece of shit and won't even manage to transport me out of the driveway without stalling. That sucks even harder because today was the first time I was supposed to hang out with Tannikka in weeks, and I was kind of hoping my dad would give me a ride into the north end of town so I could visit her. 

Then, that one decision that I thought was good from yesterday, the protein shake from Jugo, RUINED MY BOWELS this morning. Never again. I looked up whey protein.  Of course it happens to be one of the worst things for people with IBS! Of course! 

And finally, the cherry on top of my Sunday, the big finale... Colin and I had a conversation that basically went like this:

And I quote:

Me: What's on your mind?
Colin: I dont know
Me: Ok, well, you're acting strange
Colin: I am just not happy around you anymore. You are really making me miserable.
Me: . . . . . .
Colin: It's not me, ITS ALL YOU.

and then I cried, shoved my face full of Cheetos and now Im blogging while my contacts regain their clarity because they turned really foggy after I expelled buckets of tears from my eyes.

So, all in all,

"KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON"

FML.

i give up

my blog looks like shit
i hate blogger
grr

Home Sweet Home

I missed my blog.
Does that make sense? I missed my blog, this one, the funny, useless one and the medical one.
Vacation was a really good time! Get ready for a photo dump:

@ the Grand Hilton, enjoying some poolside recreation

On the strip, in front of this wonderful fountain..
which is coincidentally right across the marc jacob store!

Trying not to get arrested on the strip in Vegas
We were definitely not supposed to be on this fountain!

I just really like this picture because Im vain
-Escondido, CA (Welk Resorts)

I had a bottle of wine to myself..
Take heed, don't let that happen

SEA WORLD! There's some awesome killer whales!

There are also sea lions that tango!

At the beach house in Escondido, CA

The dolphins are super cute!

Carlsbad Beach, CA

Mommy and I in the sea!

"I like sunsets, long walks on the beach..."

People surf on beluga whales!

Still, with every awesome experience that I had, I am so glad to be home. I was rushing so bad through the state of Utah that I got a $240 speeding ticket! My mother says I should pay it because it would be the christian thing to do. My dad says I should just save myself some money, trash it and never drive through Utah again because they'll probably have a warrant for my arrest. Decisions, decisions!

Today is the last day I have to get myself put together before school starts. Tomorrow, I start with the new student orientation, and I kind of planned a speech....

 " HELLO NEWBIES... proceed through this door to sign your life away for the next four years... if you have recently begun a relationship, ABORT MISSION. If you were still hoping to spend time with your friends over the school year, you might as well haul ass to the newly renovated school bar so you can begin drowning your sorrows in a nice, cold pint because it'll be highly doubtful that you will have many meaningful relationships after October 16th...which..whaddaya know! Coincidentally, it is also the last day to drop out of class with a shred of dignity! Did you get into the awesome bio teacher's class? No? OH that's right! She quit teaching for the nursing program this year! Shit! Well, have fun, because the current course coordinator still doesn't understand that creatinine and creatine aren't the same thing, and she also tried to tell me that it went 'Duodenum, illeum, and jejunum, because it's in alphabetical order durrr" it's not. It's DUODENUM,  JEJUNUM, ILEUM. Remember that shit, because it connects to the cecum, creating the ILEOCECAL VALVE. Oh, also, not one biostats professor is understandable and all have very thick accents. Good luck with all those handwritten formulas you have to decipher! Modules? Don't do those on your own... you'll just throw up when you see that 60+ long answer questions are due each week. Maybe if you're nice to me, and daddy will pay to fix my car along with your tuition, we can work something out. Now, who's ready for some fun facts!"


Just kidding. That's not actually going to happen. I'd probably have to write another 12 pg paper on the psychological effects of sarcasm on today's youth because that's how they punish you here in the nursing program. What I am actually doing is playing a true/false game with "fun facts" about the university and the nursing program.

I officially don't have classes this week because my schedule is Mon-Wed, and classes start on the Thursday. Still being a busy bee though, I have 40 lunch dates and many piles of paperwork to file because I was doing nothing with my life besides watching Community on Netflix before I left for vacation!

I am pretty excited for clinical though. It's officially time to try my handiwork on real people! I haven't found out my placement yet, but I am praying hard for it to be anything other than Foothills Hospital (which is all the way across town), and at 5:45 in the morning.

As for the change in blenery (I made it up, it is for blog scenery), my lovely friend Ariffa redid her blog to be FANTASTIC. She did such a good job....and mine still looks like shit, but I really like daisies, so what the hell.. why not?

Hope everyone else is having a good start for back-to-school season! xo

VIVA LAS VEGAS!!

Vegas, baby! (is where I have been for the last 5 days!) Its been amazing! Im not 21, so I suppose it wasn't AS fun as possible... I think the most vivid (and warning) memory I have of the place was walking down the strip at 1am in the morning, watching all these girls holding their $1500 heels in one hand,  and a large drink in the shape of the Eiffel Tower in the other, whining about how much their feet hurt.

Lesson that I learnt? Make sure I have extremely comfortable shoes when I come back to enjoy the strip in a belligerent state!

Highlights of Vegas/Nevada included:

• Seeing the Hoover Dam
• Driving past the Grand Canyon
• SHOPPING
• SHOPPING
• SHOPPING
• Seeing all the wonderful street life on a friday night
• Poolside tanning/drinking
• buying good wine at $2.77 a bottle
• oh and shopping
• and shopping
• and buying many pairs of shoes
• and shopping

Driving past the majestic Grand Canyon, Arizona

My lovely parental units and myself at the Hoover Dam



MORE PICS TO FOLLOW! xo.

I got some amazing deals, and I am so glad for how cheap everything is here. When I say everything, I mean everything... wine, junk food, jeans, shoes, all the necessary items one needs to acquire on a road trip such as this. 

Last night, we drove to Escondido, CA. It's beautiful! We're staying at the Welk Resort, and it's got the Bello Vita Spa at which I plan to get extremely pampered. 

ROAD TRIP!!

It's been so long since I have blogged! Sorry (to all of the 3 followers that read this blog)! I guess I just couldn't stand sitting at home so I went back to work. I know, I know. Im just full of shit and go back on my word like every five minutes. But, noteworthy fact, I only ever flake on myself. Im actually a pretty good friend.

I racked up quite a bit of cash over the last few weeks...which is probably a good thing considering I currently mid way to the city of sin and squalor!

VEGAS, BABY!!

Basically, we woke up at 5AM, left the house at 6AM, and drooooooooovvvveeeeee for 18 bloody hours. My rear end feels pretty flattened... Im not complaining, it's pretty big, but still. When we got to the border, and being brown, we got searched and they confiscated our rice!! IT WAS AN AMERICAN IMPORTED PRODUCT. 

After that, we went through the Waterton National Park! The lakes are so beautiful and blue and beautiful!

We hiked down the trail and did a little photo-op!

Clearly, I was not cut out for modelling, 

Did I mention it is a family affair? My cousins and their entire family is joining us on this trip! Im excited to have some partners in crime as we make our way down the coast. 

I need my beauty sleep before I FSU in Vegas, or whatever people do there... even if I am not 21. 

Good night,  ya'll!

NEVERMIND GODDAMN IT

I really hate it when my plans fail. Even if they fail for the better, I cannot stand that it didn't go through. It's not even the fact that my plans failed, it's mostly that I didnt make the right plan for the situation, and that the plan was wrong in the first place.. because if it was right, it would have gone through.




So now, I suppose you all will also understand why I didn't keep up with my challenge. GOD I HATE FAILING. But I guess it wasn't the right plan. I just don't think productivity is what I need right now. All of you might be thinking what in the actual fuck is wrong with this girl, she wasnt even doing that much with her life right now! 


But seriously.... I spend 10 months out of the year just...going. Being on. For literally 10 months, there is not one day of down time. Every single day, I am in a panic about what is due next or which test I will be giving priority to, and what procedure I better not mess up. I sleep less than 6 hours in the night, and sometimes, I feel guilty so I don't and just work tirelessly through the night to pump out the most damn-near perfect paper I can muster.

And what gets me is that I have many more years to go. Don't take it the wrong way. I know that there are millions before me who have done the same, if not better, and there will be millions who will come forth and probably supersede my efforts. I am not the bravest, I am just tired.

These two months have sort of been a blessing in disguise. I lost my job and deciding to be unemployed has been good for me. I spend a lot of time with friends I have ignored for a year, I have enjoyed the company of many good books, leisurely learning and a good amount of wine also. These are the things that are literally bringing my almost zombie-like soul back to life. I am having a ball being able to spend time talking to my dog.

I am short on money, beach babe abs, and reviewed information, but not on happiness. And I guess just being productive and worrying about yet another plan going through and reaching a goal is kind of irritating the hell out of me. School is already starting to creep up slowly and haunt me in my sleep.

So damn it all. I am just gonna be a ____please fill in mood of the day_____ girl for the rest of my days in temporary paradise!





Now here is a picture of a cute puppy to cheer you up because I am always being morbid, credited to this wonderful blog (which is secretly my happy place).

Day 12/Day 13

Thursday, July 28th, Day 12:

• Day 2 of this Insanity.. literally. Ugh. so tough. So worth it. Shaun T yelling at me from my TV is somewhat actually motivating. Can't say I feel a ton of improvement, but it's only been a 2 days. What I do feel is a SORE EVERYTHING. Honestly, I am not lying, not even exaggerating, every muscle in this physical manifestation of noodle fascia I call my body are hurting.
• Went to yoga. I would call this day highly productive because I guess I got some physical activity in twice. Which is rare. I like sitting on the couch living life to the fullest!

Friday, July 29th, Day 13:

I just do not know what was up with me today. I was/am in such a funk, I really don't know what's going on. Maybe it's because my hormones are still speeding around my ovaries wreaking havoc, or I am just slipping into one of my depressive phases again.. but I just did not have the motivation to do anything today. I forced myself to get stuff done just because I didn't want the day to go to waste... but seriously..horrible attitude. Colin came over a few hours ago, we had an empty house, we could have gone out. etc, etc. BUT I SENT HIM AWAY. And the obvious explanation for this is that I am a crazy bitch.

• Productivity-wise: I went to the bank and hassled that guy I know. Things are looking slightly hopeful! xx crossing my fingers!
• cleaned out my entire closet today.. and I am not even halfway there. I only finished clothes. I still have bags, shoes and accessories to go through. I know this sounds stupid, but I have pictures to show you why this is a large task for me. I am actually a closet hoarder!

Hahahaha, get it? CLOSET HOARDER. 

Oh gosh, I just can't stop laughing at how funny I am sometimes!

Slack day/ Day 10/Day 11

I know myself, and I knew..that eventually..the day would come where I would slack for atleast 24 hours doing nothing.

Monday, July 25th, Slack day:

• Shark week has come upon me. I lay in bed stricken with abdominal pains accompanied with noxious gases. I also ate a ton of chocolate and mourned the inevitable end of my life

Tuesday, July 26th, Day 10:

• Not a slack day whatsoever!
• cleaned all 3 bathrooms in the house.. I can see my reflection in every single bath tile/sink.
• It was rainy so Waffles wasn't interested in going outside. Instead we played a vigorous game of "Got your paw" and I gave the little mutt a much needed bath. 

Wednesday, July 27th, Day 11:

• still working through those abdominal cramps but I heard exercise sometimes helps and since the week is slowly wearing on, I decided to start the Insanity Shaun T workout today. I did my first video, which is a fit test. It's a two week routine, and it helps gauge how much your endurance and strength has improved over the routine. In two weeks, I will take it again at the end of the circuit of 14 videos and hopefully I will have improved. These are my results! The 30 minute test WINDED ME. I was hacking and coughing for literally hours after.
• 

Now, Im headed out to the Beatniq, a funky jazz club in Calgary, so I can claim to be more cultured and whatnot, and Colin will love me more. Just kidding! There is an R&B influenced jazz group playing and Im a little excited to see them because I creeped the event page on FB and it said they go out of the box! What fun! Also, Colin's secret boy crush Jeff (just kidding, it's his bassist, friends from school, but they are just so fun to make fun of) and his wonderful girlfriend Charlotte are going to be there! It will be good to catch up! Time to go put on my dancing shoes!